Sunday, May 6, 2012

shh... stealth.

Ah, new day. new thoughts.
Why is it "mentally ill" to be stealth? Another militant TG proponent claims it is. I'm not linking to their blog, its full of too much horror for me to want to associate with it.

I'd have thought the opposite but i'm trying to understand. Perhaps, if being stealth is a stress, a constant fear of being caught, then yes, it is bad. That wasn't my experience when i was doing it.

Being stealth meant going out into the world and doing stuff like everyone else. If someone said "you've got a deep voice" the response was "sexy, eh?" instead of an explanation. It meant sidestepping unpleasantness and enquirys into history (i'm 6'2" with an adam's apple, i got a few!) and having a bit of fun instead. It wasn't mentally ill, it was liberating.

NOT being stealth is a constant pain in the arse. I'm out in my small town, due to being a non-self-respecting moron. So most people know. The odd passing ship in the night doesn't, so i don't tell them. Why should i? Do i need to perform confessional each time?

The argument: "that since some of us can't pass, all of us shouldn't" is solidarity turned into little yellow stars and pinned on our dresses. If you can't pass, go home, look in the mirror and do something about it. Its a call all of us had to make pre-surgery. "Can i do this? Do i need to do this? Can i live with being obviously mtf? Can i live pretending to be a man?"

Being TS is not the biggest thing in our lives, although perhaps it is for some. Living a good life, that's more important.

2 comments:

  1. I am a bit uncomfortable commenting on this as I realize that it is a sensitive subject and susecptible to a fair amount of emotion.

    Another reason is that I am not comfortable with the whole idea of 'stealth' as a concept or as an accurate discription of how I live my life. I live my life as the woman that I have always been.

    I am not hiding my medical history anymore than I am "hiding" the fact that I may, or may not, have had an apendectomy, or whether or not I still have all my teeth. It simply is not anyone's business, is it?

    BTW...I like your new hair color and style. Makes you look much younger.

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  2. I think stealth comes down simply to it being no-ones business but your own, unless you are pre-op or intending on a liaison becoming more than a one or two night stand. A relationship built on a lie or omission is doomed, and if you are pre-op, not telling beforehand can be dangerous... even fatal. Otherwise, why should we have to be 'Out' to all and sundry? I'm not advocating making up a history, much like the psych profession once advocated as standard operating procedure, just more "I'm a kinda private person, if and when you need to know, I'll tell you, till then, take me or leave me, your choice".

    I too made the 'mistake' of being too out and open. Never again.
    (Mari)

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please be nice.